A Selfless Art

Listening is one of the ideas I’ve been preoccupied with in reflecting on my past work: what it is, how it works, why it’s important, how to do it better. And, like so much else that I’ve been thinking about co-creation, that idea extends far beyond the rooms where workshops happen. We seem to have stopped listening in everyday life, or at least listening attentively: everyone is too busy sharing their opinions, feelings, meals, judgements… And. yes. I’m very aware that I’m doing that now.

Finding a good balance between listening and speaking is one of the key themes of A Selfless Art.

Recently a friend reminded me of the practice developed by Alcoholics Anonymous in which people speak openly about themselves, their lives and their problems to a group who share their experience of addiction. Amy Liptrot writes about this in her memoir, The Outrun:

We went into detail about our pasts and I shared dark and shameful things I had never told anyone else – we all did and it created trust and a bond between us unlike anything I’d experienced before.

Amy Liptrot, The Outrun, Canongate, p. 66.

People speak. Others listen. And no one passes comment afterwards. There’s something crucial in this practice of listening in silence: accepting what is said, knowing that my opinion, my judgement is unnecessary, unimportant, unwanted. It requires humility, and knowing that we can help one another when we understand that we truly are all in it together. We are not the same, but we are equal.